It woke me at 12:30am.

It wasn’t the expected trip

to the toilet.

The mother voice in my head sent me there nonetheless.

I could feel my concerned-brow furrow even in this half-wake state.

She’d been on my mind-

at least in the background-for

days; maybe weeks.

I was not surprised to find her yet there at this 12:30 waking.

But this felt different than the ‘on my mind’ I’d been harboring-

More present. Pressing.

I took the aforementioned trip

picked up book in defeat of returning to sleep

and soon fell into forgotten immediacy of that pervading presence.

7:30am found her.

Stiff. Even to her tail.

It was expected yet so startling.

She’d had a very hard life. Made none the easier by my care.

I came to love her reluctantly-

stubborn to let her invade my heart with

love for a cat.

She chose me.

Clinging to my arms and neck 7 years ago

and again

at 12:30am with her last breath-

or was it her passed spirit?-

Clinging for one final moment.

She leaves me with the duty of giving her a gentle

proper

burial.

Also, with

the duty of exploring what is meant to be chosen by such a small

passing life.

in love.

trish