Before the Brush
574: when we don’t tell our truth
by pbsartist | March 24, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
people become frustrated doubts disrupt reality no longer able to trust telling the world who they really are what they really feel a person sinks into ennui complacent agreement stands in for truth so that in the end the one nodding the deepest wins the battle to the...
573: rage
by pbsartist | March 22, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
word came finally one week beyond the two week waiting this alone too much to hold hope should've known what does one do with desperate disappointment the disillusionment of hope dashed against the sides of the screen a simple email suggesting an end where an end is...
572: sometimes even words
by pbsartist | March 20, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
run around like angry toddlers spoiled on sweets unable to rest this settling down I seek seems a distant illusion has the world made the turmoil that's dug into my skin can blame be cast to the atmosphere of disquieting structures falling into the yards and gardens...
571: Ugh I am so sick of me
by pbsartist | March 18, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
of the one I walk every breath alongside never able to tear away unless you count the oblivions I have loved her this me this everyday all day but today oh so sick of me there has been a long lingering need to fill the lives of others ensure they can go on enjoy love...
570: the anger is defiling
by pbsartist | March 16, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
sitting in my cells my bones eating red all the way down perhaps politics perhaps weather perhaps what I ate before bed could be as simple as that yet it seems sourceless pitched forward from my mind not a tightening so much as a burning coming from nowhere I seek out...
569: this morning the moon
by pbsartist | March 14, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
this morning the moon reminded me resting there atop the building behind like a scythe against a barn wall awaiting the next days laying down of stalks neat into beds eager its purpose its pleasure met equally in the hand of the task reminded me this moon's rest this...
568: we walked
by pbsartist | March 12, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
on through the rains that torn into our eyes her squint menacing even though I knew better others were out as well took no pause at her bristled hair squinted eyes it's a dogs way to avoid displeasure though there we were myself drenched herself obediently along for...
567: then I was busy
by pbsartist | March 10, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
my disposition changed the subject there was work to be done after all as Grace Paley identifies tend as I do to crude optimism anyway can't you too render a vision of it not much to speak of when the tally is taken but all the same never lost in the figuring out of...
566: a woman getting older not a woman old
by pbsartist | March 8, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
I still push the buggy through the aisles marveled at the four red heads tucked in amongst the butter milk nappies no matter that these same four now boast five o'clock shadows and mortgages I have been the youngest in the room or so the story went back then it felt...
565: carrying the sky on my back
by pbsartist | March 6, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
this road trip is it ten now or less or more times traversing this landscape making my way across deserted cornfields soybeans laid down rolling hills that fool me into forgetting the headache of altitudinal arrival I carry the high sky blue in its...
564: what is your best feature
by pbsartist | March 4, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
morning’s roll call alights the blind edges I glance at my hands they’ve stretched overhead flexed through the fingers waved hello to the world that’s here twelve by fourteen I’d called them so in that apps list of questions to be answered giving form to...
563: I am still here
by pbsartist | March 2, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
you speak as if the things you have to say do not cross my mind landing in this space I felt blessed though I don't use these words anymore to be here to be getting to do the work that is so satisfying to get to do it to your appreciation- I tell myself to empower you...
562: how to be like animals
by pbsartist | February 28, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
it doesn't take much we've not come as far as we presume after all my uncle walks on his knuckles rising giggles from the three foot tall crowds we have the technology all tools to teach us this baseline of being- a care for how word is reached and received a warmth...
561: something from Joy*
by pbsartist | February 26, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
Don't cry it's only a painting no one you know has died yet it is autumn this feels its way into your bones children furiously sought grown the fear lodged between your breastbones for life is this the like of it in a glance standing beside the windows grand frame...
560: helium
by pbsartist | February 24, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
patients is lost on me who is he to lose it I am here free I go on doing the job wind knocked from my sails lungs short of breath even in this time comes around a breeze unceasingly beckoning refills two years have passed since the silks fell flat a few simple words...
559: 4am with Galway Baldwin Saint-Exupery
by pbsartist | February 22, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
At 4am when the day has (already) begun bold sun quiet moon bright eyes open enough still again the walls secreted with visions a story or more waiting book of blank pages upon lap pen in hand this one more day has been given I don't tease at knowing anything not...
558: a poet’s voice
by pbsartist | February 20, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
a poet's voice in never heard the cadence simply carries across lands well hearts
557: an earnest need for doing
by pbsartist | February 18, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
was I born this way or did it creep up on me amongst the growing up mother she says I never thought you'd amount to anything this tells stories answers questions father the example the bigger me I could see earnestness of doing takes me each hour a day of rest...
556: boys will be (my) boys
by pbsartist | February 16, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
It takes great courage, I’m discovering, to help one’s children become who they really are. This is the mother journey that calls to me, the heroism I long to summon.
555: a divine emptiness
by pbsartist | February 14, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
lying ready to the hand one's life to oneself again was it always this way always going to be this way the dull ache the rhythmic rememebering the sense of loss when nothings has died if creating things into the world the joy of that the wonder of that were known to...
554: summer before sunrise
by pbsartist | February 12, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
I admit to a relationship the truck visits Tuesday mornings 6am slowly with caution it is large and takes up the entire width at regular intervals stopping I wonder if others too are anticipating near a window its progress the sound picking up bins tipping contents...
553:
by pbsartist | February 10, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
I think he'd meant to cross over my open door an invitation in the predawn light alas he must've thought against it the final bit of blacktop too much of an abyss besides the door open to air the only intention a dogs bark before full daylight too much to...
552: the neighbor (hood)
by pbsartist | February 8, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
he works nights arriving with a rumble as the fairy lights strung in my paned sanctuary click onI’ve taken the time to get to know him beyond this windowed scrim it’s a medianed street traffic cartpushers strollers rough...
551: no poem today
by pbsartist | February 6, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
I wrote no poem todayI made no mealsI did no choresI ticked no boxesI left no trailToday I spread my legs long watched the bold moon stroll across the sky heard a kettle whistle a chorus of birds call while the dog eagerly helped me stay in place
550: no news is good news
by pbsartist | February 4, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
can that be said of a poem as wellon a day when too many demands and all those things that could go wronggo wrong do you sit down and write the poem that speaks about anger frustration tears welling up behind eyelids throat...
549: two cents for attention
by pbsartist | February 2, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
i want to be with quiet despite the clock ticking its decision for otherwise i can try lean into its cupped chest upon wakingoffer tea and scones in hopes of its linger where do we pay for our attention i rather like what may come from a space...
548: they came
by pbsartist | January 31, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
often and gentlylike a whisperlike a prayer spoken with no voice just held there gently within the cage of ribshope is like this hope just this a wish we barely let an idea held close in the throatI will always welcome them I am made this way I can do life...
547: when it finishes rather than begins
by pbsartist | January 29, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
don’t mistakeI am not lamenting a passingI am here to extol! the opportunities the lessons the chances we getby putting one foot in front of the otherdoing our part it walkingwearing the skin suit we have been givenbelieving as we must for what...
546: dirt dreaming
by pbsartist | January 27, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
guy warren john olsen gone like cy twombly my australia admirees ended the same as my american turned italian the mark makers the paint spellers the delighters of whimsy across canvas dirt dead to the earth added value spent perhaps one day reconfigured recanvased!...
545: fourteen but who’s counting a day like any other
by pbsartist | January 25, 2025 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments
a Sunday maybe in the middle of June the light not yet touching the sky-cover with its golden scrim I lie against his thigh a pillow my pillow borrowable only by the dog ready as I am to embark lingering though as if just this...