I doubt the legitimacy of my desires

no longer able to justify the one who chose this blindly

many years ago if only the future could be seen from such a vantage

there would be much less heartache and toil

and maybe a lot more peace

perhaps some loneliness too but

that’s already here

anyway

either way

I want to go back and alter the course that’s already run

trust that the love of four will be enough until the finish line

not think I need a stand in for longevity

a legion of reservations stand in the whorls of my brain requiring an age to resolve